


Because I Could Never Hold a Perfect Thing & Not Demolish It

by Deliasbabe



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse
Genre: F/F, just some soft mina content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliasbabe/pseuds/Deliasbabe
Summary: A fight  at your apartment forces Venable to reveal her true feelings about you, whether she wants to or not. Based on the song “Forever…(is a long time) by Halsey. Tumblr saw it first.
Relationships: Wilhemina Venable/Original Character(s), Wilhemina Venable/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Because I Could Never Hold a Perfect Thing & Not Demolish It

When you heard a knock on the door one early Sunday morning, you almost didn’t answer. You weren’t expecting anyone, and considering you were only wearing an oversized white t-shirt, you weren’t exactly dressed for company. But something told you that you knew who was on the other side of that door. After all, you had turned down Venable’s request for your presence at her house Friday night, and ignored her numerous phone calls the next day. It wasn’t like it was unwarranted, she had spent the majority of the work day berating you, even going so far as to call you “daft” and “a waste of space”. What you two had wasn’t exactly serious, but it wasn’t casual either, and you had spent many nights trying to figure out exactly what _this_ was. It wasn’t unlike your lover to borderline abuse her staff, but up until that point, you had been the exception, mostly because she knew there was no way in hell you would stand for it. At least, you thought she knew that, but her actions that day very much said otherwise.

It wasn’t like you didn’t expect her to show up. You had learned very quickly that a request from Wilhelmina wasn’t actually a request, more like a not-so-polite demand, and you refused her, of course she would show up to set you straight. But avoiding your boss had given you a strength you didn’t know you needed, the upper hand in a situation where it seemed like saying yes was the only acceptable option. You could face her, tell her off, and send her on her way. You could do this, and with a gust of courage, you opened the door.

Venable, as cold as ever, didn’t even bother with a proper greeting before she stepped into your apartment, her heels clicking along the wooden floor as she took a regal stance in your kitchen, like she had the right to do with your home as she saw fit, and you rolled your eyes as you shut the door. She always was far too arrogant, but you did have to admire her confidence. Still, her impoliteness didn’t make you falter, if anything it fueled you.

There was an eerie silence as you walked toward her, firmly planting your feet in front of your counter. This was your home after all, she wasn’t going to get the high ground. She flicked her steely gaze over you briefly, before deciding she couldn’t even be bothered to look at you, her face impassive as she set her sights just over your shoulder, as if you were beneath her. “You haven’t been returning my calls.” She stated flatly, like you were total strangers, like you hadn’t spent countless nights in her bed, in her home.

“I know.” You responded coldly, her eyes quickly darting to you and boring into your brain, outraged that you would dare challenge her.

“Care to tell me the reason?” Venable spit out between gritted teeth, and you wondered how she was able to look so angry yet keep her tone so emotionless, a black void threatening to swallow you whole. You had played her games long enough to know she was waiting for you to buckle, but you wouldn’t, not today, and you clenched your jaw as your stared her down, openly defying her seemingly endless willpower.

“I really don’t think I should have to explain it to you.” You spit in the most condescending tone you could muster. You wouldn’t fall, not today, not ever again.

Her face was hard as stone, a concrete wall, but you could see in her eyes that she faltered, just a bit, and it gave you a sick sense of victory. “Y/n,” Venable bit, “Let’s not be childish.”

“This isn’t me being childish. This is me being pissed off.” You fired back, silently cursing yourself for letting your cool demeanor slip. You were supposed to be short, calculated, _cruel_ , just like her. But you weren’t like her, not one bit. Still, this seemed to grab her attention, and she raised her eyebrows, silently demanding an explanation, like she didn’t have the slightest idea as to why you were upset. You shook your head dismissively, “You know what? Whatever this is that we’re doing? It’s done. I’ll hand in my resignation tomorrow.”

There it was, that sickening smirk your lover always gave when she got a rise out of someone, almost as if hurting you was a victory in itself, “Don’t you think you’re being a little rash?”

You scoffed, “No. Believe me, this is a long time coming.”

Your boss took a moment to right herself, like she was talking to a petulant child, “I don’t accept your resignation. You are a valuable assistant.”

“I thought I was _daft_ and a _waste of space_?” You bit, watching her physically recoil, but only slightly, “And you really don’t get to call the shots on this one.”

Venable gave a condescending laugh as she leaned forward on her cane, “You can’t expect me to give you special treatment.”

“I’m not asking for special treatment, Wilhelmina. I’m just asking to be treated like a human being.” You vented, hoping just once, just this once, that she would see her horrendous ways, that she would see reason.

But still, your attempt was futile, you could see it in her face, “I treat you the same way I treat any other employee.”

“And you don’t think there’s something wrong with that?” You bit, beyond frustrated, “You can’t expect me to be treated like shit and then hop in your bed at your beck and call.”

Venable let out an amused, breathy laugh, “You think I’m using you for sex?”

You dropped your shoulders, utterly defeated. It just wasn’t worth it, and you hated yourself for thinking it would be any different. She was stubborn, an impenetrable force. You couldn’t change that. Still, you mustered up the strength to finish, “I don’t know what you are doing, but I’m not doing it anymore. If I wanted a hookup I wouldn’t do it with someone I work with, and certainly not someone who doesn’t appreciate me in the slightest.”

Again, she smirked, “You think I don’t appreciate you?” Just like that, you were done, rolling your eyes and moving towards the door, only for your soon-to-be ex to bang her cane on the floor, “Y/n! Talk to me.”

You whipped around and stomped back to your previous position, utterly pissed off. “Why should I?” You yelled, suddenly not caring about how emotional you seemed, “ _You_ never talk to me! You say we’re exclusive, but you won’t tell anyone about us! All we ever do is fuck and I’m _sick_ of everything being on your terms! I’m not spending the next few years being in a one-sided relationship! I’m done trying to earn your approval. I’m just…done.” You broke your gaze, feeling completely drained, like all your life force was just sucked out of you. You didn’t have it in you to fight for her, to make her see you. You just couldn’t do it anymore.

“What makes you think you haven’t already gotten my approval?” Venable asked, calm as ever, acting as if you didn’t just emotionally implode all over her expensive purple suit.

You let out a scoff, not even bothering to look her in the eye, “Because no one will ever be good enough for you, and certainly not me.”

You didn’t look at her, waiting for whatever insult she had decided to throw your way, but all you heard was silence. You weren’t used to silence, not from her, and you glanced up to make sure she actually heard you, only to see tears in your lover’s eyes, and your heart dropped. Your boss was always stoic, so much so that you wondered if she was psychopathic. She always was this _force_ , and you sure as shit had never seen her even come _close_ to shedding a tear, and it took the fight right out of you, your stomach twisting into knots.

“Is that really what you think of me?” Venable said, shifting her gaze to the floor and praying you didn’t hear her voice waiver, but you did, and suddenly you weren’t sure exactly who you were dealing with.

You softened, but only slightly, “I don’t know what to think, Mina. I’ve tried, but I can’t figure you out. It’s like you are a completely different person with me than you are at work, and they don’t line up.” You waited for her to speak, but she didn’t, so you continued, “I get that you can’t be the same at work with me because you, for whatever reason, don’t want anyone to know about us. You’re ashamed or… whatever, and I get it, I do. But this game we’re playing? I just can’t play it anymore.”

That got the woman’s attention, and you quickly glanced away from her. As she started to move toward you, you ducked your head in response, preparing for her to be angry with you, but she gently lifted your chin, forcing you to look into her soft brown eyes. “I’m not ashamed of you, little one.” Mina said carefully, “Not one bit, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m proud of you, so, _so_ proud.” You looked utterly confused, and it pained the woman, because she knew it was all her doing. Hearing her praise is the very last thing you expected, and she hated herself for doing this to you.

Wilhelmina Venable had never been very good at expressing her feelings. She hated feeling vulnerable, but somehow you managed to slip past her iron gates, worming your way into her heart and cracking her wide open. She had never been in love before, truthfully she thought it didn’t actually exist, but there you were, and suddenly her world started spinning a little faster, too fast for her to keep up, to stay ahead, and that scared her. So, she did what she did best, she shut down, and she pushed. She pushed and pushed until she broke you, and she understood why you wanted to leave, but she couldn’t forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to put you back together again.

Still, this was uncomfortable for her, uncharted territory, and she hesitantly took a step back, “The reason I…” She began calmly, before you watched her face contort as she choked on her words, not even able to repeat the atrocities she had carelessly fired your way previously. The woman cleared her throat awkwardly, ducking her head, “Jeff and Mutt, they noticed that I wasn’t as harsh with you as I was with the others. They suspected I was interested in you, romantically interested.”

You sat silent for a moment, analyzing her words as you leaned back on the counter, raising your leg and bracing your foot on the cupboards as you crossed your arms. The gesture was innocent, but it was enough to make the woman’s head spin, desperately trying to not give into her own selfish desires and averting her focus from how _good_ you looked. “And you aren’t?” You asked, slightly defensive, reading between the lines and coming to the conclusion that she really was just in this to fuck.

Venable tried to focus, tried to formulate an answer that didn’t include how delicious your exposed thigh looked, but she couldn’t, and she bit her lip. You took her silence as a yes, after all, what else could it mean? “Ok.” You said with a sadistic laugh, moving to show the woman out, “I guess it’s settled then.”

“Y/n, wait!” Venable yelled, lurching toward you and throwing herself off balance, barely catching herself on your arm. The shock was clear on your features, and before she could get too much inside her head about it, she blurted, “I am interested.” Your gaze was unwavering, unnerving, so she hesitantly continued, “Very Interested. I just… I didn’t want them to know.”

You stare at her for a few moments, desperately wishing you could fish inside her brain and find some sort of clarity. She looked so scared, her hand grasping yours tightly, but you weren’t sure if it was because she almost fell or something more, “Would it be such a bad thing if they knew?”

Venable shook her head, but her words didn’t match. “Yes…no… I don’t know.” She fumbled, “I’m not very good at this.”

You furrowed your brow, “Good at what?”

You had never seen your ever-confident boss so unsure of herself, “Talking about… this.”

You paused, trying to figure out exactly what she was getting at, but then it dawned on you, “Talking about your feelings?”

Your lover quickly glanced at the floor, nodding slightly, and you nodded in return. This, you could work with. You let out a sigh, drawing her attention back to you, “Why don’t you sit? I can make us some tea?”

That gave the woman a moment to compose herself, and she silently thanked you for not making this any more painful than it had to be, “Tea would be lovely.”

You gestured toward the couch, and Venable moved to take a seat, studying your apartment as you worked. It was the first time she had been in there, and as she looked around she noticed just how much it fit you. It was a little messy, just like you were, a mishmash of flea market finds and old furniture, but something about it felt cozy, _warm_ , and she couldn’t stop herself from running her finger along the soft flannel blanket you had strewn over the loveseat. That was a fitting word, _loveseat_ , because in your apartment, staring at you as you silently moved around the kitchen, Venable was finding it incredibly hard to deny that she was hopelessly in love with you, and that terrified her.

“You have a lovely home.” Venable said politely, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling she got when you bit your lip and threw her a smirk.

“Sorry it’s a mess. I wasn’t exactly expecting company.” You teased, meeting the woman’s gaze.

“It’s quaint.” Your lover said quietly, and you were so focused on making the tea, you didn’t even bother to look up as you laughed.

“That’s a nice way of saying tiny and cluttered.” You joked, not noticing your girlfriend studying you like you were her favorite piece of art, and boy, did you look _heavenly_ with your nimble movements and messy bun, barely held together by a set of chopsticks. You hated having your hair in your face, that was the first thing Venable noticed about you. Every morning, you would come into work with your long hair down, and by the end of every night, it was being held back by pens. You never could get it to all stay back, however, and the few wispy strands always framed your face in a way that could only be described as angelic.

You finally finished your task of making tea, glancing up only to catch the woman staring, and you threw her a lopsided, soft smile that made her so dizzy she had to look away. It was just too perfect, _you_ were perfect, and she didn’t deserve perfect things.

You handed her a warm mug, and she quietly thanked you as you sat on the couch, leaning back on the arm and tucking your legs beneath you as you sank into the cushion. It was strange to see you so comfortable, but then again, this was your house, and this time it was Venable who felt out of her depth, making sure to sit as straight as she possibly could as she murmured out a thank you for the tea. She sipped it tentatively, but was pleasantly surprised to find that you had made it exactly to her tastes, sickeningly sweet, despite it not being her usual order that you brought her every morning. It made her insides warm, realizing just how well you knew her, how much you paid attention, and she couldn’t help but look at you in admiration.

“What?” You asked after noticing her staring, throwing her a smirk.

Mina tried to pry her eyes away from your form, tried to look anywhere else, but she couldn’t, and she found herself speaking before she could even formulate a coherent thought, “Nothing. You’re…uh, you’re just so… beautiful.” And boy, Wilhelmina didn’t think she could possibly love anything more than the way your cheeks blushed as you were caught off guard.

“Well, thank you. But I should let you know that flattery won’t get you out of this conversation.” You joked, watching her gaze fall as she nodded. “Mina?” You asked softly, waiting for her to bring her eyes back to yours, studying her delicate features for a moment, “Why don’t you want anyone to know?”

Out of reflex, Venable snapped, “Because I prefer to keep my private life, private.” It wasn’t the answer you were looking for, and she knew it, but you didn’t push like she was expecting. You just sipped your tea, patiently waiting for her to gather herself and give you a real answer, and she hated it. She hated the silence, and she hated how gentle you were being with her, like she was something soft, breakable, but then again, maybe she was. “I didn’t want them to ruin it.” She finally spits out after a moment, the truth leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

“How would they ruin it?” You asked softly, causing her to scoff. But once again, you waited, and she wished you would just pry the answer out of her like so many before had tried to do. At least then she would have a reason to be hostile.

Venable clenched her jaw, “Because right now it’s just us, and I like just us. I want it to stay just us.” It wasn’t exactly a coherent response, but you knew immediately what she meant, because you felt it as well. You two had somehow managed to create your own little world together, except you didn’t mind sharing it.

“Even if they know, it can still stay just us.” You offered, getting another scoff in return.

“That’s not how Jeff and Mutt operate.” Venable bit, expecting your gaze to harden, but it still was just as soft.

“But it’s how I do.” You said confidently, “They can tease us as much as their little coked out heart’s desire. It’s not going to change how I feel about you, nothing will.” You watched your lover’s eyes go wide as she glanced away, panicked, and you tried to soothe her, “Hey, look at me.” You said gently as you cupped her chin, “I’m not trying to overwhelm you. We can slow things down if you want.”

“I don’t want to.” Venable said quickly, and you cocked your head to the side.

“Then what is it?” You asked, giving her a reassuring smile. She didn’t answer, but she didn’t really need to, you already knew. You knew how she felt about you, you had known for a while, she just couldn’t say it, and you got it, you really did. So you left it alone, at least for the time being, and changed the subject, “Stay with me today, here. We can order take out, or I can cook if you want. Just us.”

Venable looked at you doubtfully, but there was a glint of adoration in her eye, “You can cook?”

“I’ll try for you. No promises that it will be edible, though.” You joked, throwing her that lopsided smile that made her absolutely melt, and she couldn’t help but offer a small smile and nod back at you. You grinned, jumping off the couch and grabbing the now empty mug in her hand, “More tea?” She gave another nod, and you quickly pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose before disappearing back into your kitchen.

You spent the day drinking tea and watching terrible movies, ordering Chinese for dinner and eating it out of the paper cartons with chopsticks. You even managed to find a pair of purple pajamas for Mina to change into so that she was more comfortable. “I’ll put the food away. Do you want some wine?” You asked, grabbing the cartons from the coffee table and pressing a kiss to the woman’s forehead, smiling when she nodded.

You danced around the kitchen with light steps as she watched, and as you poured the wine she felt like if she held it in any longer she would burst. “Y/n?” She asked, you humming in response, not taking your eyes off the glasses you were filling, “I love you.”

You glanced up at your girlfriend with a small smile on your lips, grabbing the now full glasses and making your way to her, softly planting your lips on hers. “I love you, too.” You said once you broke apart, handing her the glass as you got a teasing look on your face.

“What?” She asked carefully, thinking there was something she was missing.

“Nothing.” You said, still smirking as your voice dropped, “You know, you still haven’t seen all of my apartment.”

Mina furrowed her brow, “You just poured wine.”

You gave her a shrug, “I don’t have any pets. We can leave it.”

“Or we can wait.” Venable said, still not catching onto the suggestive undertones. That was until you pulled off your shirt, leaving you in a black lingerie set that made the woman’s mouth water.

“Or we cannot.” You said, motioning her forward with your index finger as you stepped back towards your bedroom, laughing when your lover shook her head in mock disapproval. You had her wrapped around your finger and you knew it, and it was only confirmed as she followed behind you the very second you disappeared from her view. Boy, was she smitten for you.


End file.
